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sojeanQuiddity
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Name: Sara
Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, United States
Birthday: 9/1/1983
Gender: Female
Interests: Guffaw, need I say more?
Expertise: Inclined to look through rose colored glasses
Occupation: Student
Industry: Business
Message: message me
AIM:  PBSobf
Yahoo:  psycho_bitch_sobf
Member Since:
10/20/2004
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I wish I was her. The girl I used to be. The girl who was almost always happy, who rarely let things bother her, and was always joking, being goofy, and laughing. Lately, she seems to be long gone. I miss her, and I want her back immediately.
This long distance stuff is hard. I find myself feeling short-changed far too often. I also find myself worrying that he will break up with me because of the fact that I haven't been my goofy self. If I don't stop my worries will get the best of me, and I can't stand it anymore. I can't stand feeling this way. I just want him here so I don't have to worry, and so I can let go of this paranoia that is looming over me.
-Sara
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Sometimes, I just want to escape. I want to escape my life, my body, and run away without any worries about anything. Run away like my past could never catch up to me, and that I would never have to resume to the same life that I have now. I feel that way right now. Although, my boyfriend reminded me that if anything had changed in my past, that certain things couldn't and wouldn't be how they are now. He is in my life, and he makes me happy. Although, he's 18 hours away, and I miss him something fierce.
I'm lonely, I have no friends here, and I wish there were things I could do to make me feel more at home. I wish I didn't have to worry about having a job for bills so I could just enjoy life. I feel so weighed down and stuck sometimes. I feel like all my responsibilities are holding me back from making me happy. I'm trying so hard to look at the limelight of things, but it's hard. I don't feel like my bubbly self because I have no one to laugh with, no one to spend good quality time with. No one to be close to. No one to lean on and hold when I'm feeling sad. No one to tell me it will be ok, then tickle me to cheer me up. I find myself getting more and more frustrated easier and easier. I know I'm not the only one that exists in others' lives and I can't expect them to do what I want when I want them to. Or to say what I want them to say when I want them to say it. However, being alone all the time, it's like I'm the only one who exists in my immediate world. It sucks.
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I call bullshit. 'They' say you can't get chicken pox if you've had the chicken pox vaccine. Bullshit. I had the chicken pox vaccine before I started kindergarten, then got it in kindergarten. 'They' say you can't get chicken pox twice. Bullshit. Ten years later after the initial onset of my chicken pox, I got another, milder case of chicken pox (which people claim is supposed to be shingles, bullshit again). 'They' say shingles is the adult (more like senior adult) form of chicken pox. Bullshit. Ten years after my second onset of chicken pox, I get shingles and I'm only 25.
So to reiterate: You can get plain old chicken pox twice (vaccine or no vaccine). And young people can get shingles.
I have spoken my peace.
-Sara
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Another short one.
I'm missing him something fierce.
Talking to him everyday helps. I want to be in his arms, see his smile, look in his eyes, hmm say....NOW!
-Sara
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I think I'm falling for him.
<3
-Sara
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